I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
