dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
