wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Life is so much better after having sex.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If I die, sorry about rent.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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