is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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