so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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