i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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