how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
