Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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