first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
