id be glad to
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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