My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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