after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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