Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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