is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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