Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I cockslap morals
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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