Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Damn victory sex feels great
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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