He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
