is your mom at the bar?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
