Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
