she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
