he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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