Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
