Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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