His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
