I think i peed on brittanys purse
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
