Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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