Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
