I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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