I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
