Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I need water and some morals
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
