so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
