The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
