I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
