I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
