super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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