You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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