i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
