I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
too bad you live with your parents still
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
