Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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