god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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