I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
