My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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