Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Your cock deserves a montage
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
