belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You can't special order awesome
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
