Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
