Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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