my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
