For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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