are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
