Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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