just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
