ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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